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Because I believed
that "being a nice guy" MUST be the way to success with women, I
ACTUALLY COULDN'T EVEN PERCEIVE ANY OTHER WAY.
In other words, I could see a situation where a woman was attracted
to a mean, abusive guy and think to myself that either she must be
screwed up in the head, or THAT THE GUY MUST BE REALLY NICE TO HER
THE REST OF THE TIME.
As you probably know, it's hard to convince a person to believe
something when they already have a belief about the topic. The
person that you're trying to convince just uses whatever you say to
convince themselves that they're actually right... and you're wrong.
Well, I did the exact same thing.
No matter how much evidence I found to the contrary, I still somehow
believed that being a "nice" guy, buying women flowers and gifts,
taking them out, and generally letting them be in control of the
relationship HAD to be the way to attract them.
Well, after continuing along the same path and getting the same
results, I realized something that literally changed EVERYTHING for
me. I realized that JERKS do, in fact, attract hot women. Selfish
behavior, as unhealthy as this might sound, often makes women feel
attracted to you. Sarcasm, ball busting, playing hard to get, and
all kinds of other "illogical" things really do work when it comes
to attracting women.
But then I had a dilemma...
I love the idea of being successful with women, but I HATE the idea
of mistreating people, being mean to them, lying and misleading,
etc. Deep down, I want to be a good guy. I decided that there MUST
be a way to make this work, and to attract women without being
ABUSIVE.
The good news is that THERE IS a way.
But it requires that you put aside your current ideas for just long
enough to entertain some new ones.
First, let me say that I believe I've found a way to take the things
that JERKS do to attract women and use them WITHOUT THE ABUSE. When
you learn to do this, you can really have the best of both worlds...
you can be nice to women on your own terms, and give them what they
REALLY want, and what REALLY attracts them.
So WHY DO WOMEN BECOME ATTRACTED TO JERKS?
The short answer is that they don't CHOOSE it, it's something that
just HAPPENS.
ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE.
It's an emotional response to certain things. Women don't CHOOSE to
feel the emotion called ATTRACTION for jerks any more than YOU
choose to feel the emotion called ATTRACTION for young, beautiful,
hardbodied women.
Nature has pre-programmed MEN with a mechanism that works like this:
SEE HOT WOMEN ---> FEEL ATTRACTION
Well, women have a similar mechanism. But I think that the female
version is MORE COMPLEX. Yes, women do feel attraction for extremely
handsome men... but they feel a MUCH STRONGER ATTRACTION for certain
PERSONALITY TRAITS and BEHAVIORS than they do for physical looks
alone. So again, the short answer is that it's just something
that "happens" inside of a women. She doesn't "choose" it.
So what is it about the "jerk" that creates this powerful,
uncontrollable ATTRACTION inside of women?
Let me answer first by telling you what IT'S NOT:
It's NOT the abuse (not usually anyway). I don't believe that women
are attracted to that abusive, mean, negative part of the "jerk
personality".
I think that jerks JUST HAPPEN to also possess several ATTRACTIVE
qualities that are SO POWERFUL that that they literally make women
BLIND to the abuse... women will rationalize and excuse the abusive
behavior because they are so attracted to these other qualities.
Here's a PARTIAL list of what creates that ATTRACTION:
-Unpredictability
-Uncontrollable
-Challenge
-Dominance
Of course, there are many more, but this will get us started for
this discussion. The qualities I've listed above, when presented
correctly, trigger the natural "attraction mechanism" inside of
women. Jerks have taken natural qualities that are ATTRACTIVE to
women a little "too far". But because they're still there, the
qualities trigger the attraction anyway.
So what does this mean to you? Well, the most important thing is
that it means you can still be a good guy and attract women at the
same time. You're probably going to have to learn how to flirt in a
different way, become a little more comfortable being challenging to
women, etc. But in the end, you'll find that this will get you what
you want, and still allow you to treat women well... all on your own
terms.
It also means that instead of being the guy who women talk to about
their relationship problems, and how their mean jerk boyfriend is
being abusive again... you can be the guy who they're dating and
sleeping with!
Yes!
This weekend I'd like you to think about what I've said here in this
article. Think about how you can cultivate the four qualities that
I've mentioned above into your personality. See if you can be a
little less predictable. Don't let outside events or women control
you.
Be more of a challenge.
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